Hello, Journal
I'm back once more. Things are so odd. I took it upon myself to send the page "beauty" to my exboyfriend on Tuesday night. He wrote back to me, sending me a letter and two poems, which were quite interesting. I think that
they helped me to get a grasp on what was in his mind--although the shallow part of me still wishes we could be close. So, that was yesterday.
Him and I spoke online from 6:30 until 8 last night. We talked about different things. There is a great deal on restraint and holding back on both our parts where talking about us is concerned. It is too confusing. I still have to go my own way, and he, his. But I love him, and hate that it has to be this way. And wish it were different...like we'd met some other time, when we were more settled...all around.
Tomorrow is Valentine's Day. Another lonesome one for me. I can't say I've ever had a happy one. But it is always sad for a different assortment of reasons. This time I will try to be happy. Others I wallowed in it. Or, raised my phonebill to new heights calling people who didn't give a fuck, and were busy fucking other girls anyways. So, I am tired of all of that. This one, I'm going to lay low and do something for myself to make myself happy, money or no money.