It makes no sense. I have flip flopped again about friends with benefits. I kind of want to ride it out---Hmm---yeah---ride it out until graduation and just not lose some things i'd be missing. It's probably the wrong decision. But I have needs that are not being met. And I guess I'd rather trust and know someone than just meet random people and bring them to my bed. God life sucks. There is just too much room for all kinds of messed up decisions and mistakes.
I let my sponsor read my poems. He gave me some good helpful hints about editing. I want to get one of my poems in the Literary Magazine. Hopefully I shall. I am totally inundated with work. Totally.
I am going to hammer out the rest of my plans later in the day. As far as FWB goes. We're going to talk about it. It's my power trip. I mean, the ball is totally in my court. I'm glad I feel like I"m taking the bull by the horns, and making heavy decisions. Even if they are wrong and hormone influenced.
Or are they? Am I wrong for wanting something physical? But both of us admitted that it is not purely physical--that there is attachment--that is the thing that can mess things up--but also make it feel less cheap and tawdry. I don't know what to feel.
Well I guess today I feel like I want to have fun and be young, and not think about the future for once. Am I allowed? And what does it entail?
Peace and Love
Dane
Posted by dana at March 4, 2003 09:58 AM1. What NEEDS are not being met?
2. RANDOM people are never chosen "randomly". There is a conscious effort on the part of the chooser,as to whom they are choosing.
3. FWB - friends with benefits. Sounds like an alternative rock band. Are the "friends" benefiting from YOU, or vice versus?
4. No one is wrong for wanting a physical relationship. Everyone needs to be touched, held and made love to. Remember, if all you want is an orgasm, then anyone will do. Don't blame the "vibrator" for being what it is.
5. You're already thinking about "the future" ( getting laid - "needs").
Take care, dear.
Thomas
Hun, get a vibrator. Nuff Said.
Posted by: Nick on March 4, 2003 04:59 PMI guess that is the future...getting laid. True. I don't know what I am going to do, honestly. I didn't jump on him today. My vibrator broke--sadly. I do have to buy a new one. Um...I mean...I do stupid things sometimes. I just need to decide what I really want for myself.
Posted by: Dana on March 4, 2003 08:46 PM