Dana's eJournal

Hello

Today was a "blah blah blah" day. I really didn't feel up to anything. I woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and so totally negative. My ex invited me over to his house while his mom is out of town. It would be a romper room of sinful delights I suppose. But I'm not sure if I'm biting. I am tempted. But I think it would throw me for a loop so hard I might not be able to live with myself. I hate being places in secret that I used to go to in broad daylight. I'm going to tell him that. I'm not a secret whore...I'm a woman, and I don't like being kept in the closet. His mom loved me, I liked her, we used to talk, and still do and she told me that she wanted to see me, but he is making me avoid her like the plague. I don't know why. Well, I do know. Then he was talking about how he wants to lose weight. He is doing a lot of shit to himself to make himself more attractive to new girls and shit. And its cool. I told him that I am going to Spain. I seriously want to get out of the country for a while. I just have to wrangle up 200 dollars for the deposit and money for my passport. I seriously want to go some where, and do something with myself, and see new and exciting things. Ah, Spain. Maybe I'll meet some hot spanish guys, and take the train into Italy or France for a couple of weekends. I am scheming up on this so hard.

I would defer graduation until my return from Spain so I can get financial aid. :) Oh yeah! That is the move....I really want to see the Spanish country side. I want to get away.

I have so much randomness inside me...I really just want to relax, and be free, and just experience new things, and new people.

Dana

Posted by dana at March 4, 2003 08:53 PM