ok, I found these in an article online and just had to save them. too true.
Moms say the darndest things: (darndest?!)
My nipples are killing me.
Trust me, cats don't like to wear lipstick.
I'm only interested if it's rated G.
What's your secret for making Rice Krispies Treats?
Are we having a wee-wee problem?
Look with your eyes, not with your hands.
Let me cut up that grape for you.
If Action Guy does that again, he's going to Toy Jail.
Have you been to the new McDonald's yet? It's great!
Hugs are better than hits, and kisses are better than kicks.
Let's chase cavity bugs!
I'm pretty certain superheroes sit nicely in their car seats.
Can't you please just watch TV like the other kids?
I don't care who started it -- I'm ending it!
Oh, look -- Barbie flip-flops are on sale!
Put on your jacket. I'm freezing.
Don't play with Daddy while he's sleeping.
Please keep your spit in your mouth.
Do you want some cheese with that whine?
Isn't he cute in my high heels?
Yes, that sure is a cute spider.
No, artichokes aren't alive even though they have hearts... well, they are kind of alive, because all plants are alive, but not really that kind of alive, and it's not really a heart -- they just call it that because...oh, never mind. Who wants pudding?
Mommy loves her little pumpkin-berry snuggle-bug!
Get off the walls!