Ugh. I swear, if I wasn't breastfeeding, my daughter would probably hate me right now. It all started innocently enough with a wet diaper. Should be a quick change, so I don't worry about the changing pad- just lay her down on her blanket. (Lesson 1- there is no such thing as a quick change. Always use the diaper pad). I got the wet diaper off, thinking "gee, she hasn't pooped much yet today". Somebody remind me to find and strangle Murphy, because I'm sure what happened next was in some way his fault.
No sooner had I gotten the diaper out from under Emmy than she pooped. Exploded is more accurate. Sparing the details, the diaper (and the 5 wipes I used before giving up) went in the Diaper Genie, the blanket and everything she was wearing went straight in the laundry, but first, the baby went in the bathtub.
She hates the bathtub. She hates being bathed.
So after torturing the child for about 10 minutes to get her clean (yes, it was that bad), I finally got her out and wrapped up in a towel. At this point, she's been wailing to beat a firehouse siren for about 15 minutes (she understandably started around the time she crapped all over her lower half) and my ears are bleeding. She squalled and flailed the whole time I was trying to dress her. But finally, I got her dried, diapered, dressed, and quiet. It's good to be the lady with the boobs, because otherwise the poor girl probably would hate me.
On a random side note, I have to say baby poop (at least from breastfed babies) reminds me of Denny's buffalo strip sauce. The color's off, but the texture and consistency... definitely buffalo sauce.
Posted by Jenn at November 1, 2005 06:27 PM