Ah, the holidays. That time of year when we are able to sit back, relax, and reflect on the beautific lives we lead in this perfect world. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiight. We'll just vote that thought "Least Likely to Succeed" and go from there. It's officially Thanksgiving, and I am hours away from spending the day with my families. First my mom is coming over for lunch, then everyone but mom is going over to the other family's for dinner. I anticipate too much food (some good, some cooked by Theresa), boredom, and general grouchiness. A grand time will be had by all, I'm sure.
Which brings us to the revelations of this particular entry.
1) I am starting to hate the holiday season early this year.
2) Dysfunctional families are the real normal.
3) Hell is for wimps- if you really want someone to scream for mercy, stick 'em with my families for the holidays.
I used the think I didn't like the whole holiday bruhaha because it reminds me of my dad dying, or because I worked retail. Now I know I don't like it because of everything it is:
the anniversary of my dad dying (which I'm feeling more this year now that I have Emily)
forcing me to spend time with a person I don't like for the sake of keeping the peace
hurting my mom because I'm not spending every spare minute with her, and am going over to see the annoying person we don't like
driving me nuts because the year is ending and I don't feel like I've made any real progress in my life
stressful
making me come perilously close to sounding like a bad country song (if I had a can of pisswater, there'd be "a teeeeeear in muh beeeeeeeeer", instead of my coffee)
I could go on, but I think that about covers the gist of it.
****Brief interlude while I accept tips to refrain from any more singing. For those not familiar with the singing pianist duo from the Disney cruises, tips should be monetary, and of sufficient quantity to be an effective bribe. Thank you. We now return you to your regularly scheduled monologue.****
The holidays would be fine if not for family, or if they were just like any other days. But no, its "THE HOLIDAYS!", that time of year when people lose what little common sense they have. They become lemmings, suicidally driving to the mall to buy unwanted gifts for the second migration's return trips. Normally rational (OK, maybe not) family members become petty, punitive [bleep]s, demanding that the other side of the family be ignored, or else issue insincere invitations on the slim chance that they will be accepted and the "hostess" can spend a meal making digs. Forget Jesus- this time of year, dysfunction and insanity reign.
Logic would say that if you have 2 people who cannot get along, but who live close together, it is fair to spend part of an important day with each one. Logic has never met my mother. Specifically, she feels like she gets stuck with last choice because we work around the other family's timetable. Actually, we try to set meal times with Tom's family so that we'll have time to spend with my mom. With everyone's schedules, this is not easy. Tom just doesn't understand why my mom "doesn't like" his mom. (Personally, I find it more surprising that anyone does like her.) He still thinks the perfect solution would be my mom going to his mom's for holidays. After all, his family has always celebrated together, and my mom's all by herself. At this point, I think the perfect solution would be moving to Alaska and not leaving a forwarding address.
Tom's idea of a "normal holiday" is my idea of hell. I would quite honestly rather starve than have to put up with all the bullshit involved with a holiday meal. I don't like being obligated to spend time with someone- anyone- just because some long dead people did something. Once they were no longer get out of school free cards, the holidays were just ordinary days. I don't feel any different on Thanksgiving or Christmas than I do on the second tuesday or the third thursday, or any other damn day of the month. Yes, I appreciate the people in my life. I love them very much and I am very thankful to know most of them. I do not need the overbearing manuvering or sappy sentiment crammed down my throat by some company desperate to turn a profit to tell me this.
I almost wish I were still working retail, too busy to care. I do wish I could just push a button and it would be mid-January. I wish for today to go better than I'm expecting. I wish I could take a vacation somewhere warm and relaxing. Maybe somewhere with red guys toting pitchforks bringing me margaritas.
OK, now that feels better. I am the embodiment of patience, cleansed of bitchiness. OK, not possible, but I think I am starting to feel a little less whiney and more optimistic for the next month or so.
And I really am thankful for a lot, but this entry has gone on too long already. The thankfuls deserve their own entry.