Dating
Okay, I’ve been thinking a lot about dating and I’ve come up with some ground rules I want to follow:
- Getting overly gitty isn’t worth it, don’t go too far, and don’t not go far enough, it’s a tough balance, but talking about kids on the first date is probably a bad idea
- No sleeping over at each others house for at least a month. (If necessary you may sleep in different beds/couches if the weather/lack of sleep demands.)
- If your cell phone dies, take it as a message to stop talking to the person for the evening. (Exception, if you have crappy cell phone battery, you get an extra half hour of plugged in talk time per day.)
- Picking someone up from the airport or stalking them to the airport when you’ve known them for less than a week is a bad idea.
- If you can’t go a week without talking to this person, you’re not dating you’re infatuated. If this is a necessity in your life try a puppy.
- Kissing. Closed mouth for a month only.
- Showing and telling lots of people about the person your dating right off the bat is a bad idea, because you’ll have to endure explaining what happened to the relationship to lots of people.
- When in doubt, a cold shower is the best thing. (A failing hot water heater will help with this.)
- Jacking off is good, use it as a stop-break for yourself when overly horny.
- If during the first month you’ve spent more time with the person asleep than awake, you are not dating, you’re just fuck buddies.
- When in doubt, spend three weeks away from each other, if you still feel the same then you’ve got something.
- Always be true and honest to the other person, except when you’re breaking up. When breaking up follow these points:
- Don’t say anything to the person that you haven’t felt or thought for at least two days.
- When in doubt write it down, place it under your bed for two days, if when you read it two days later its still valid, send it to him.
- While it might feel good to throw or ship back everything out that is related to him, you’ll want it later, its much better to place it in a bag in the back of a closet.
- Give things time, time, time, time, time and more time… The end of the world isn’t going to come soon, and if it does… (Well it does, you can’t do anything about it.) But back to the point. If its true love you’ve got the rest of your life together. If its not true love you’ve stretched out the good times.
- When in doubt attempt to rationalize. Ignore the strong voice in your head stating that love isn’t rational. (it isn’t, but just ignore it anyways) If you can rationalize how you’re feeling, you’ve got something, if not try harder.
- A suggestion while rationalizing: Cause yourself minor pain, pinch yourself, walk around with out enough clothes on outside during the winter, walk into a wall, etc.. etc… Then ask yourself, would you do that every day one a day for the person, if not your not in love.
- Stop reading stupid advice columns and follow your heart.
- Start reading stupid advice columns and follow your brain.
- When in doubt, do what feels right for the future, but not what feels right for now.