The Meaning of Life
What is the meaning of Life? Of course many people fail to realize this is a trick question. Its not something that someone else can answer. There are as many answers to the question as there have been people. (Therefore there are several billion different answers)
The real question to answer is what is the meaning of my life?
I honestly don’t know. This is the question I’ve been pining at for quite a while in different ways.
I know I want an answer, concrete and unequivocal. That is my logical plodding side at work, always trying to come to an answer that is concrete and meaningful.
Of course this is as productive as attempting to find the right pair of glasses by walking up to people and trying their glasses on. You might get the right prescription but by that time your eyes will be so tired and worn out that they won’t matter.
Okay lets back up a step. Why does there have to be meaning to my life? Why can’t I just be one of the mindless automatons wandering through this world, a working stiff? Instead I’m stuck with the curse/gift of being a philosopher.
Why is it that we “find meaning” in our lives? Isn’t it possible to create meaning? I dunno.
I know Charlie Kauffman, William Irvine, and Susan Orlean would argue that meaning is finding something to do and doing it passionately.
I’m reminded of the scene from Adaptation Susan Orlean and the gardner create a dial tone together over the telephone each by humming the 1/2 of the bitonal sound. Strangely enough this is one of the most powerful scenes in the movie. Two people in such inexplicable simple means, but intertwined and at that time inseparable.
Is it a pathetic denial of my potential to say that finding someone to be the other half of my dial tone is the meaning I seek in my life?
In some ways I feel like Heidi from The Heidi Chronicles constantly and consistently asserting “I believe everyone has the right to fulfill their potential.” as an empty and hollow refrain. In the end to constantly search for meaning through degrees, the woman’s movement, and whatnot only to find it in adopting a child. Hmm food for thought.
Why the hell am I programmed to want and desire one person or one cause to be devoted to?
So I’m stuck with a paradox. I’m set up with a set of urges that in the end hurt myself emotionally.
While I’ve said in the past its the risk that makes it worth it, I’m not so sure. I wanna say no reward is worth this risk. I’d rather habitually play the lottery, it is less stressful with more predictable losses.
Love seems to be the only thing where you can lose more than you put in. I’m not sure I want to make the investment again.