Search for Gay Reality

When I was a little younger one of the things I found (and currently do find) extremely frustrating is the lack of diverse, images of gay men and honest realistic images of gay men and gay life.

(I will readily concede that all media images of hetro and homo attracted people are distorted.)

I sometimes really get this feeling I’m a bit of lithium in a sea of water, out of place desperately seeking a sea of lithium or maybe even just some kerosene to reside in. But for now I’m stuck sputtering, sparkling and flaring up every once in a while.

I don’t think I’m alone in my desire to be around a bunch of homoattracted people. The concept of the “gay ghetto” is well established. I was even once chastised by the GLBT community at Wright State because I TiVo’d Scrubs, but not Will & Grace. The GLBT people in question assumed that because I’m gay that I’d watch it religiously. But it doesn’t interest me, because really it is a distorted view of life, like many sitcoms and is overly dependent on stereotypes. For example:

• Grace – She is the classic fag hag, slightly in competition with Will, but always supportive of him.
• Will – The obstinate professional who is a lawyer first and is perpetually dating, clumsy and single.
• Karen – An often quirky hetro attracted woman, who is too cartoonish to exist in real life. Arguably she exists to mellow out the portray of Jack. (more on that in a moment.)
• Jack – Quite frankly is one of the most egregious portrayals of a stereotype, he is a fun loving, moderately irresponsible, always funny and artistic to a fault portray of a gay queeny fairy. He exists as the musing entertainer. Sean Hayes’s performance, while faithful to the character as written, echos of the blackface of the Blackface Minstrelsy in which Black entertainers in order to compete with the black makeup of white imitators darkened their skin, in order to fit the role as modified by their white imitators. Sean Hayes in the same way plays Jack with reinforced gayness, the same way as a hetro attracted actor would play the character to ensure that no one would mistake his intentions.

These characters simply put are unrealistic extremes. To state that Will & Grace represents gay life is the same as saying that The Simpsons represent Middle America. They’re both funny and insightful in their own way, but ultimately they’re just cartoons.

But, I have digressed from my initial purpose. I have longed for a love son from one man to another that doesn’t involved AIDS, death, or other depressive subjects. I have finally found one, Hitchhiking Across America (iTMS|Amazon), composed by William Finn and performed by Lewis Cleale. It is a beautiful song, simple but moving. I wish I had heard it when I was 17.

I cannot wait to find another.