To make progress in the web

So I went to see the Friday night midnight showing of Spiderman 3 with friends. It was generally a good movie with perhaps a bit of a bludgeoning of an ending, it should’ve ended about 5 minutes sooner, then it would’ve been excellent..

But, thats not really why I’m writing this entry. I watched the movie at the AMC theater at Newport on the Levy, in the Cincinnati Ohio area. Cincinnati for those unfamiliar with the statistic, happens to be one of the most racially divided cities in the country. (Its not the most, but as I remember its in the top 10.)

So, I’m sitting there watching Spiderman 3 and the lameo bludgeoning ending starts, and low and behold a bunch of people start walking out; Not quietly walking out, they walk out while talking and kinda booing the movie. To summarize it they’re being rude stupid fucking idiots. Sure, this is at two thirty in the morning, but basic movie theatre etiquette should still be followed.

So on the car ride home one of my companions happens to say something along the lines of “Those guys were trying to turn me into a racist.”

Yeah, the rude stupid fucking idiots were young African-American males.

Here’s the thing. Stereotypes, as horrible and annoying as they can be, happen to be rooted in the truth. Whats the best way to get rid of a stereotype? Change the truth. I really think Martin Luther King understood this, the protests he led and organized were some of the most peaceful and loving ones this country has ever seen.

Where do I get off giving advice like this? Oh wait, you missed that I’m a gay man, and as a group we have been stereotyped as being promiscuous, non-commital, flaky, disingenuous, trouble-causing, and irresponsible.

I’ll admit every so often I’ve met a few of those descriptions, but no more or less so than any other guy my age. (I had a roommate in college, who when he lived in his own apartment used to leave the front door unlocked to facilitate young ladies coming over for an evening booty call. He was honestly one of the nicest and most considerate guys I ever had the privilege of sharing a room with, but boy was he horny and willing to get it wherever he could.)

I am who I am. I’m not promiscuous. (In fact I went all of 2004 and 2005 without having sex, and I only had two partners in 2006. As of today, I’ven’t had sex in 2007.) I really really really want a commitment. I do my damnedest to be genuine and honest. I only cause trouble when its needed. I’m responsible enough that my workplaces have had no trouble with entrusting me with lots of discretionary authority.

The bottom line is work at diminishing the stereotype of gay men everyday. Its not something I expect to disappear overnight, but by exhibiting my true and differentiated behavior, I do my little part to demonstrate that the stereotype is false.

Getting back to the issue at hand. The young rude stupid fucking idiotic African American men, reinforced the stereotype that African American men are rude and stupid.

Thats a shame. Just as the play Spinning Into Butter exhorts Caucasians to own up to their own racism, African Americans must own up to the behavior that perpetuates stereotypes.