Deeds matter, words don’t

“In all our days, may we turn more to act than to word to declare our religion” – Rev. Peter Raible

I want to be funny right now. I want to make a joke about dual allegiances, but now isn’t the time for humor.

In an average week, I’ve spend more time at another church other than the UU church where I am a member. I’ve become part of the community at the non-UU church. It was slow, not something where I consciously declared “I want to become a member of this community.” Instead, it just happened.

It started for selfish reasons, I and some others wanted to use and occasionally borrow one of their musical instruments. I was and am grateful for the use of the instrument. I treated it better than I would treat my own. I put effort into keeping their instrument in tip top shape. I played music twice a year at the church’s events. I made sure that the toilet wasn’t running before I left the mens room.

Relationships end. Life ends. Churches end. Countries end. It is one of the few things that you can be sure of, whatever begins will eventually end.

There is no right or wrong in the decision to end a relationship. There is right or wrong in how you choose to end the relationship.

Saturday, I was told that my relationship with the non-UU church would end. However, instead of being told that I and my fellow musicians were no longer a welcome member of the community, we were provided with an untenable situation: we could use the instrument, but not remove it from the church.

Musician and instrument learn each other. A musician can play another instrument, and an instrument can be played by another musician, but they do best when they spend time together, learning about each other and adapting and accommodating each other’s idiosyncrasies.

So when I was told that I could not remove the instrument from the church, I was being told that my contributions to the community didn’t matter.

It was not a matter of liability or scheduling or providence. The compassionate just and (dare my agnostic fingertips type this) Christian thing to do would have been to discuss and address the concerns. Liability can be insured against, scheduling can be communicated, and providence was already established through deeds.

In the end, actions of the lay, professional, and religious leadership of the church did not match the words they have said.

I admire anyone who has the conviction, passion, and intelligence to consistently align their beliefs and actions, it is much easier said than done. However, I expected better of the leadership at the non-UU church. I as a community member deserved better. It is not worth it to try to claw my way back into their community when I have been told I am not wanted.

I will however continue to strive to turn to act than to word to declare my religion.