Going down an unexpected path.

Shaun, one of the felines with which I share my home, is sick.

This isn’t he’s having just a cold kind of sick. This is a probably life threatening variety of illness.

He’s gone downhill fast. In March, he was just fine.

In April he had a little bit of congestion, but only the vet could hear it.

By July, his congestion had gotten worse, that I brought him into the vet.

He got some medicine and improved a bit.

But he lost weight, I don’t know the exact numbers, but he’s lost around a third of his weight over four months. He’s also been dehydrated.

Its been hard for me to watch him. For quite a while, I wanted to do what I could to control the situation, to make him better. I’d put out multiple choices of food, and flavored waters.

I’ve thought to myself that I would kill someone if I knew somehow it would make him feel better. I can’t say that I would or wouldn’t go through with it, but I do know that I would seriously entertain that any offer that came my way.

I’ve learned over the past month or two that I love Shaun more than I ever knew I did.

I’ve cleaned caked litter off of his paws. I’ve carried him to the food dish. I’ve sat with him and stared at him. I’ve wondered how much pain and discomfort he might be in. I’ve pondered if I’m having the vet treat him for selfish reasons, or if I’m having the vet treat him because its truly best for him. I don’t know. I may never know.

A younger me left some advice in my high school year book: “People take different roads seeking fulfillment and happiness. Just because they’re not on your road doesnt mean they’ve gotten lost.” – H. Jackson Browne. I’m not sure where Shaun’s path is taking him. But I will walk with him and do what I can to comfort him on his journey.