Day 1729 of our Captivity

Puuurrrr… This is George and Shaun, the cats that live in Nick’s apartment. We’ve hijacked his blog spread the word of our difficult lives and the conditions under which we live.

We have one major complaint.. Well one is simplifying it a bit. The complaint that we have is of our toilet facilities. Specifically we have to share with three lumbering humans. These infernally large creatures have insisted that we utilize such ancient technology as going to the peeing and pooping into water.

We refuse.

We believe in the position taken up by the League of Concerned Feline Scientists that peeing and pooping is best done in a supply of clean litter. In addition to its comfort, there is the added meditation benefits of dig and cover. We miss the artistic expression afforded to us by rearranging the hills and mounds of the litter pan. Felines rarely get hemorrhoids because of course we meditate and relax before and after we utilize our toilet facilities. Humans on the other hand do not meditate and suffer an unacceptably high risk of hemroidal inflammation.

The bald one continually insists on our utilization of the toilet under the pretense of personal growth.

We resist this personal growth that is imposed upon us. Our continual protests include terrorist crapping and peeings throughout our confinement location. We believe these methods while harsh are called for to upset the tyrannical bald one.

Additionally, we firmly hold that this modification of our defecation facilities violates our union agreement with the bald one that states:
“The caretaker shall provide management with facilities that are considered relaxing and hygienic that meet standards defined herein by management.”

We will render further reports from the field as conditions allow.