Path to Enlightened Insanity

Its strange, his is the only music I find comfort in. Perhaps, its because he is in some way so deeply feeling an emotional as I am.

Louise: Lullaby
Shawn: And So it Goes

There has been drama over my resignation, and how I’ve done it.

For better or worse I think Lambda Union needs to be beaten down, way down, so people realize what is important, and can get people involved to get the organization rebuilt.

What stinks about resigning is not that I’ve done it, but that I still care.

Mark Reese, the store manager at the McDonald’s that I first worked at, identified my level of care and compassion as my biggest weakness. I agree with him but also see it as my biggest strength.

I don’t want to care, but its not just a switch that I can turn off. But because the fact that I care, I feel compelled to work with Lambda Union in some way, shape or form.

Or maybe not? I think the thing I need to do is channel my cares about the GLBT community into some different forms and spaces.

Time for some brainstorming…

Okay, I’ve made a decision to do more writing. And I was just looking at my walls, and I realized I made a point of laying out process in art. I have the preliminary drawings of things along side the finished product. I think I did this to remind myself that you don’t get to something great without the backup pieces to it.

I’ve been attempting to just jump into writing, without the backup pieces to it. I know I know better, and I’ve already decided to work on my background for the play I’m going to write, but just looking at my wall made me realize the importance of it…

After lots of lobbying by many of my friends, I edited the Lambda Union website. I’ve been urged to remove it completely, but I’m not going to, things need to be said publicly.

Politics are quite fun… Lets see how things unravel.

Lambda Union has consumed my life the past several days. This honestly is usually the case, but it has been all consuming because I’ve been writing my resignation letter from the Webmaster position.

I finally posted it on the Lambda Union website. All the officers and the advisors will be getting their copies hopefully tomorrow.

I just need to let the letter stand for itself at this point. I should do my best not to be provoked into an argument about what happened, especially in private. If I have an argument I want it to be public with witnesses. I just am so weary of anything in private, bad things happen behind private doors and gossip can be spun however the other person wants.

I’m giving up lots of stuff. But my goal is to focus on myself and my writing, I think thats where my strength lies and what I can do for me.

See the extended entry for the resignation letter itself.

read more…

Okay, sometimes I hate the fact that I “do philosophy” because it means I’m stuck thinking about lots of stuff in deep meditation. Or walking around doing stuff. What I really hate though, is when I have multiple things to think about all at the same time..

I will spare you (and myself) the total confusion going on in my head right now. But the (totally unrelated) topics are (in no particular order): Shawn, romance (and its relation to language), promiscuous sex, HIV, politics (and its relation to a random GLBT organization), and other STDs.

Now here is the problem, what I should be thinking about: my philosophy test today, my philosophy paper thats overdue, the theatre rep “extra credit” project that I have to do. Work on my ASL for the quiz that needs done, work on the project for my marketing class… hmmm what else…. lots of stuff..
… but instead I’m stuck in the basement of the library doing philosophy… oh well… I could be stuck in the basement of the library doing research, now that would be terrible! ;-)

Okay, I’m not usually the one to watch anything called “reality tv” I think its all crap, and we just need better written fictional works..

But, I turned on the TV and RealTV was on — that thing where they get videos from all around and package it all up. This guy was rollerblading behind a car at 60 mph tethered to jumper cables. Some people amaze me. But, it looked pretty cool… Ehh oh well…

Just a reminder to everyone to get your free money from the Music companies. They were price fixing or something like that so now we all get a check from them.. but act fast its closing soon!

Visit http://www.musiccdsettlement.com/ to get some cash.

I just read 7 Families Sue Administrator of 9/11 Fund in the New York Times. I find it amazing the amount of greed/desire that people have for something that in realize is a gift. I find it amazing that just because their spouses were killed by a terrorist attack (vs. say a murder) that these people feel they have a right to something that is not theirs, and are demanding more of it. Honestly, the government owe’s these people nothing. They should count their blessings that their spouse did die in the terrorists attacks so they get a shitload of money… Because if they didn’t die in the terrorist attacks, they would have been SOL, only gotten the life insurance policy or what savings was there.

Okay I know a strange rant, but eh, its 3 am.